Hi, I’m Tresya. I want to share my experience that I got on the way to achieve my dream. Talking about dreams, I know that everyone has dreams. Even since childhood, we had been asked what we wanted to be in the future. Whether you want to be a doctor, pilot, teacher, or other professions, it’s not uncommon for your parents and family to ask what your future school plans will be like. What kind of major and which university do you want to go to? Certainly, many of us have experienced like this. So do I. When I was young, when my family asked about my dreams, I said I wanted to be a flight attendant. Sometimes I said I wanted to be a director, and sometimes I wanted to be a minister. My dreams always change time by time. But even though it often changes, there is one dream that has always remained in my heart and mind. This dream has been settled for about 16 years.
The first time I was able to have this dream was when I found a brochure from a university in Europe while I was playing in my brother’s room. When I saw that brochure I asked my brother, what brochure is this? Then my brother answered that this was a brochure from one of the top universities in Europe. One of Indonesia’s presidents studied here. And he is one of the geniuses in the world. Hearing that statement, I felt motivated and wanted to be able to study at the same university as him. And since that time, I have made this as a goal in my life. The biggest dream that I must achieve.
For 16 years I lived by chasing that dream. The fact that the journey to reach that dream was certainly not as smooth and easy as I imagined. I always feel so fear, embarrassed, underestimated by other people, feeling helpless, and comparing myself to others. And when I felt it, I just cry while remembering my dream. I feel like I’m still so far away and don’t deserve to achieve that dream. I also often fail. Failed in competitions, failed to enter my favorite high school, failed to enter state universities and many failures that I experienced until I felt that there was no point in me participating in something because I would fail later. I was also in a phase where I no longer wanted to go to college. I ever skipped my class, frequently late for classes, and for the first time in my life, I got really bad grades. In that phase, I could only blame God because I could not accept my destiny. I feel that I can get better than this, but why God gives this to me? Until finally I met a good friend who did not hesitate to discuss and advise me. And since the discussion with him, finally, I realize that all I have to do now is enjoy the process. I have to enjoy and accept my destiny. If one day it changes, I only have to start over and prepare again. And from that moment I started to try new things, explore everything, join organizations, and do positive things that will give a good impact for myself in the future.
I felt like my life was starting over, but with a calm feeling because I was able to accept my destiny. Since that time, I started to make a new strategy. Giving the best for my dream. Even though it was difficult, I kept trying and finally, I started to get good results which made me realize that God is so kind to me. God helps me to meet good and great people. He put me in the best place where I can improve my skills. One of the best places is to study Master’s degree at UGM and join the language community ILC (International Language Center). Here I find the fact that I still have nothing. There are many people who are better, more polite, and greater than me. And those great people are not reluctant to share their knowledge with me. When I see my friends who are smarter than me presenting in front of the class, I feel insecure but also motivated. I always try to train myself to be like them. Then in the ILC community, when I see my friends can speak confidently, express opinions, speak various languages, and be fluent in English, I also feel insecure but also motivated. And from this, I feel my life is starting to have good progress. When I fulfilled my destiny to study at UGM and join ILC, I felt that there were many positive things and lessons that I got. I always try to give my best in class and start to give suggestions and responses during meetings. And I also try to have the courage to speak English even though I’m still afraid. But at least I have a good progress, slowly but surely my skills are starting to develop.
“Something I used to hate turned into something I am grateful for now”. And after I tried to accept this destiny, I realized that God’s plan to place me here was the best plan ever, because I could learn many things while fulfilling myself for my dreams. Honestly, I don’t know when my dream will come true, what I know is that God is so kind. God will help me to reach my dream. Because there’s no way that dream can stay for 16 years if it’s not going to come true. I just need to be patient and keep working hard for this dream. Because it was destined for me.
To all ILC friends and other readers, I don’t know whether this essay I wrote can motivate you or not. I just want to remind all of you that never give up on our dreams. If we fail, we can definitely start over from the beginning. There’s nothing wrong with starting over. Someday we will definitely be able to reach our dreams because there is God, and God will surely help us. Nothing is impossible if with God.
That’s all from me, the dreamer who is still in the process of achieving her dream — Tresya, Secretary of ILC HMP-UGM
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